The Princess and the Paladin
by cupcakegumdrop3
Summary: The Grand Wizard King threatens to destroy the Paladin for an alliance he's presumed to have with the Princess. Only Kenny's sacrifice can save them now, and end the game once and for all.


**Quick note:**

 **This is definitely a part of the "When Do I Get Out Of Here" Universe, and it was actually *this close* to becoming a chapter within the story. Due to the whole thing being a flashback, right at the height of upcoming drama, I decided to separate it into it's own little one shot instead! (Also why the font is in italics, please don't make me go back and change it.)**

 *** You DON'T need to know any detail from the series if you're just here for the one shot, but this one shot definitely helps enhance the series. **

**I honestly had no plans for this at all until about a week ago, when I was riding on the train from Sydney to Katoomba Station, and I couldn't help daydreaming of this beautiful, elaborate funeral for The Princess that made me sad-smile the whole way home - and I really think you guys will enjoy it!**

 **Plus Princess Kenny is one badass bitch whose story I am _all_ too happy to tell. **

**Also, sorry, but I'm ignoring Clyde's Stick Of Truth betrayal and ending the game with Kenny's betrayal. It obviously can't end with "farting on a princess' balls" so I got creative with it.**

 **xP**

 ** _And because I feel like I HAVE to say it: Yes, I killed Princess Kenny._**

 ** _(you bastard!)_**

 ** _End Note._**

 _Half the kingdom of Kupa Keep had been destroyed by an arial raid of dragon fire forged in the Elven Kingdom._

 _The death toll rang high, and many lives had been lost_ _—_ _including the princess' younger sister, Princess Karen. A beloved princess who, noble as she was, had ignored the Grand Wizard's orders of 'retreat', and courageously engaged in a valiant fight to the death for the greater good of her kingdom. She ordered the royal army to 'stand down!', and led a ragtag civilian team to the heart of the enemy's camp. She was dressed in a poor boy's disguise, in order to sneak past the Kupa Keep guards. But Butters believes it was her lack of identity in the end that got her killed by the Elf King's own Ranger, Stan Marshwalker, who dropped to his knees in shame once he realized what he'd done. Her chamber maid, Ruby, had flung herself from the watchtower in grief once she'd heard._

 _(It was these kind of grand theatrics that got the younger kids banned from the game_ _—_ _but not before Karen and the rest of the rebels devised their exciting plan to burn_ _out heroically in a chaotic blaze of glory. Even Cartman was impressed, especially with the way they mildly traumatized Stan)._

 _As the last surviving member of her family, Princess Kenny was asked to identify the body._

 _Now the entire kingdom of Kupa Keep rested on the small princess' shoulders, and elves and humans alike were waiting to hear what she had to say._

 _The Grand Wizard had just left the tent, and now only Paladin Butters and the princess remained. He watched her pace around the room, unsure what she would say to her people._

 _"_ _My princess, a-are you alright?" Butters asked wearily of the flustered girl._

 _She slumped dramatically into a nearby chair and rested her head in her hands._

 _"_ _What shall I do, Paladin?" She wondered out loud with a sigh._

 _Butters walked around Princess Kenny and bent down next to her. Tentatively, he pulled her close to wrap her in a tight hug. Princess Kenny stiffened underneath his touch, then turned and stood, wrapping her thin arms around him tightly._

 _They stayed for a moment, before the princess pulled away slowly, keeping her eyes on the paladin as concern etched in her soft features._

 _"_ _Don't cry, Princess." Butters pleaded as he wiped an imaginary tear from underneath her shining eyes._

 _"_ _Paladin Butters," she cooed as she grabbed ahold of his gloved hands, "I won't." She promised. And just like that, she straightened her back and turned to march back out to address her people._

. ❀✿❁ .

 _"_ _Isn't Kupa Keep just_ beautiful _this time of year?" The princess mused as she batted her eyelashes in the paladin's direction._

 _"_ _Oh, absolutely, Princess! I-if I do say so, it is!" Kenny smirked at him briefly before wandering off to run through the rose bushes. She'd probably come back with more bloodied scrapes from it, but hey, you can't take the 'Kenny' out of the 'Princess'._

 _Butters smiled to himself._

 _As he watched her float away gracefully, the paladin passed a row of yellow flowers, sparkling golden in the sunlight. He plucked one to examine it: something about it reminded him of Princess Kenny._

 _He turned to look at her._

 _The princess was tending to a small animal that had wandered into the garden._

 _He watched her talk to it gently, then wave a kiss goodbye as she sent it on its way._

 _She turned around to face him, still beaming as she stared down at him._

 _Butters began knocking his knuckles together nervously._

 _"_ _What is it?" The princess asked, tipping her head in curiosity._

 _Her honey hair matched the few golden freckles that stretched across her soft face. He stepped closer to look. Butters counted ten of them._

 _Her velvet curls brushed tenderly around her like a halo in the breeze, her piercing eyes made bluer under the curl of her dark lashes._

 _"_ _What?" She questioned with a grin._

 _Her smile was one Butters had recognized many times before. Only now, set in the face of a soft beauty, it took on a whole new effect._

 _Suddenly, Butters was struck with a thought. One he'd never had before, though it overwhelmed his foggy brain now:_

'Princess Kenny is beautiful.'

 _Butters bowed deeply, maybe a little suddenly, awkwardly startling the princess._

 _"I compare thee to a golden flower!" Butters announced in a rush, trying his hardest to remember what Shakespeare was supposed to sound like._

 _"Pfft, what?!" Kenny scoffed clumsily, splitting laughter between his lips._

 _Butters stood up as Princess Kenny regained her elegant composure._

 _"_ _For you, M'lady…" Butters held out the flower towards the delicate princess. "it's beautiful so it reminded me of you. 'Nd… I want you to have it." He declared proudly as it slipped from his fingers into the slender hand of the princess. Kenny's jaw went slack as he looked down at the golden flower, lips slightly crooked through his fading smirk._

 _"_ _Butters…" Kenny's voice was soft as his fist closed around the petals protectively. "Oh, Paladin Butters!" The princess wailed grandly as she danced away to an opposite corner of the garden, spinning theatrically to face Butters again._

 _"_ _Will you promise me we'll always be friends?" She swept her hand dramatically across her forehead as she sunk into a nearby stone bench with a flourish. "No matter what this_ cruel _world does to us, promise me you'll never betray me? Not you, paladin, oh, I couldn't_ bear _it!" She cried._

 _Butters gallantly dropped to one knee and scooped up the princess' hand between his gloved fingers._

 _"_ _You have my word, Princess." He stared up at her. Shadowed by the setting sun, she seemed to radiate light; she appeared to be glowing from within._ 'Yes', _he decided as the sunset seemed to brighten with her smile,_ 'Kenny always did that.'

 _"_ _Is this an outside alliance I'm seeing? Or something much gayer?"_

 _Butters spun around to find the Grand Wizard King fuming before him, arms crossed, eyes boring into the paladin's soul with fire and hatred. Butters instantly stood up straighter and addressed his king with respect._

 _"_ _N-no, no outside alliance here, sir!" He promised with a salute._

 _Cartman smirked and Kenny facepalmed. Butters still had no idea why the fat bastard was laughing._

 _He circled around the paladin like a predator trapping its prey._

 _"_ _My theif just got out_ _of jail for conducting rogue business in exchange for gold coins. My merchant is in jail right now because he's_ annoying _and I_ don't _want to deal with him right now… I'm not above tossing in my paladin for_ insubordination." _The wizard hissed out the word like a snake bearing it's fangs._

 _"_ _Ahh!" Butters screamed._

 _"_ _Don't be stupid, asshole, we need him." Kenny broke character and stepped between Butters and Cartman defensively. Cartman narrowed his eyes in disgust._

 _"_ _Maybe you do… for whatever you're planning…" he spat angrily. The Grand Wizard took a step forward menacingly and leaned in. "God help you, Princess, if you dare try to overthrow me…" The two most powerful forces in the kingdom stood stood nose to nose in a telepathic battle Butters could only imagine_ had _to be terrifying. Cartman's eyes were getting narrower by the second!_

 _"_ _Excuse me, G-Grand Wizard King?" Cartman rolled his eyes towards the sky as he turned towards Butters with a bored expression on his arrogant face. "You've got it all wrong!" Butters attempted. This is all a misunderstanding!_

 _Cartman just blinked disinterestedly and ignored him rudely._

 _"_ _I've warned you before, Princess…" Cartman glared pointedly at Butters before shifting his gaze back to Kenny, "do not defy me." He hissed through clenched teeth._

 _Kenny said nothing. Butters was confused. And Cartman's glare only sharpened with each passing second._

 _"_ _Come with me." He ordered to the princess, walking away without looking back, knowing she would follow without question. Princess Kenny's face paled as she walked dutifully towards the wizard king._

 _"_ _O-oh. Ok then. I'll see ya tomorrow, fellas!" Butters waved breezily at their retreating forms. Neither turned to look at him. They just turned solemnly to stare knowingly at each other._

 _Butters decided they must be weary of the upcoming battle and shrugged it off. He bounced along home, no idea of the ghastly realities that would await him in just two short days._

. ❀✿❁ .

 _Everyone was sleeping over at The King's castle in preparation for the battle._

 _Butters had just closed his eyes when he heard whispering over his left ear._

 _"_ _Paladin," he was greeted softly. He knew that voice._

 _"_ _Princess?" He opened his eyes and started to sit up._

 _"_ _Shh, shh, no." Butters felt familiar hands press against his chest, pushing him back down against his sleeping bag, as two gentle fingers slid over his heavy eyelids._

 _"_ _This isn't real, this is a vision. Listen closely…"_

 _Butters listened intently as Princess Kenny's voice described, in great detail, the things that would happen tomorrow. Terrible things. Things that made Butters gasp, and want to cry, and wish he had never declared the ability to see the future. He was shown horrors he didn't think he could bear to see twice._

 _"_ _But why?" He whispered into the darkness, eyes screwed tight, not wanting to scare away his 'vision'. There was silence._

 _"_ _Sit up." The voice requested. Butters obeyed._

 _"_ _Follow me." Butters reached out to hold a familiar hand. He crawled along blindly until light from the hallway glowed behind his eyelids. He felt the presence guide him to a nearby wall, and sit down in front of him._

 _"_ _Open your eyes." It whispered._

 _It was Kenny. He was wearing his pajamas, with his princess wig plopped messily on top of his head. Butters could see little wisps of matching hair poking out from underneath it._

 _He glanced down at Butters hands and grabbed them hesitantly._

 _"_ _Listen to me," he begged, not looking Butters in the face, "this is the way it has to be. And I need you to let it happen. I can't have you getting hurt because of me." They were looking at each other now._

 _"_ _But_ why?" _Butters repeated. Kenny wordlessly glanced over at the snoring wizard in the entrance of the next room._

 _"_ _Cartman?" Butters questioned, "well, gee, what does he have to do with this?"_

 _"_ _You'll understand later. Maybe. Maybe not. Just know that it's not your fault, even if Cartman makes it seem like it is." Butters tilted his head like a confused puppy. Kenny seemed to melt as he broke down and sighed the truth._

 _"_ _Cartman's gone mad with power. He says he'll do… something_ 'bad'… _because of our alliance. He says nobody is allowed to make alliances by him…" Butters rolled his eyes, unsurprised._

 _"_ _But.. we don't have an alliance! Not a traitorous one anyway. We're just friends." Butters smiled at his friend._

 _Kenny chuckled darkly._

 _"_ _It doesn't matter. If he doesn't make life Hell for you, he'll just do it for some other poor kid. I have to destroy the game. It's time." Kenny sat up straighter, eyes blazing with determination. "And the only way to do that… is to get myself killed." Butters' eyes widened in concern._

 _"_ _B-but…_ Princess!" Butters cried in a whisper. _"Why not just_ betray _Cartman and align with the elves instead? The princess is loved by all, it won't be the game without her!"_

 _The princess twirled her hair, waving her hand with a flourish._

 _"_ _I'm afraid, my_ dear _Paladin Butters, that is_ precisely _the point!" Her signature sweet voice lilted in the air around them and settled like a chill against Butters' skin. Kenny's face was stern. Butters squeezed his hand comfortingly._

 _"_ _Are you scared?" Butters whispered, trembling._

 _"_ _A little." He admitted._

 _"_ _Will you be ok, Kenny?" Kenny's smile softened._

 _"_ _I will be." His expression hardened. "Just promise me you won't try and stop me._ Please," _his hand rested gently against Butters' cheek, "This is what has to be done. You may not see it now, but trust me. Cartman can be_ very _dangerous, you_ don't _want to be on his bad side. You could get hurt, for_ real. Promise _me." Kenny begged._

 _"_ _I promise." Butters whispered into the darkness._

 _For a brief moment, Kenny's hand lingered affectionately against the smaller boy's cheek._

 _Then it was gone._

 _The two tired boys stood up silently and carefully trod back to Butters' sleeping bag in the corner of the room._

 _Butters was just about to lay back down to fall back asleep when Kenny silently motioned for him to sit up again._

 _"_ _Paladin," The princess whispered as she lifted the crown off her head and placed it gently nestled atop Butters' messy hair, "these visions are your responsibility now. You_ have _to let them come to fruition. You_ must _not_ change _the future. Do you understand?" The princess waited in still anticipation._

 _The paladin bit his lip worryingly. "But—!"_

 _"_ _Butters…" Kenny begged desperately._

 _"_ _I understand." Butters conceded sadly._

 _"_ _And remember," Kenny waved his hands in front of his face like a cheesy magician, "this is all just a vision," sadness adorning his crooked smile._

 _"_ _But," Butters began confusedly, "how can you be a vision if I can touch you?" He reached forward to grab tightly onto Kenny's shoulder._

 _Kenny froze slightly, closing his eyes woefully, before laughing sadly, "Then remember me as an angel." He reasoned._

 _Before Butters could protest, Kenny reached forward to graze his fingers above Butters' drifting eyelids once again. Butters complied, feeling sleepier by the second as Kenny gently pushed against his chest with one hand, cradling his head with the other._

 _As his head hit the pillow, Butters fell back asleep, dreaming of happier times with the princess_ _—_ _until the morning, when he would wake up with dread in his heart, and the princess' crown missing from his head. Then he would behold a waking nightmare._

. ❀✿❁ .

 _The battle had begun._

 _War was raging, but nobody seemed to be winning._

 _Butters was taking down elf after elf, slaying them with one mighty swing of his sword._

 _As he slashed his way through the crowd of lower level players, he tried to focus._

 _He tried to forget the vision he'd had last night, and what he knew was coming._

 _Suddenly, a bright light emanated from the top floor of the treehouse, and glared way its across the battle grounds like an optical hurricane._

 _Winds whistled through the kingdoms, screeching up from the depths of Hell itself._

 _The Wizard King and the Elf King looked at each other in shock and ran towards the wild laughter echoing from the tower._

 _Butters was the first to enter, noticing Clyde wounded on the floor, knocked out. The second thing he noticed was far more horrifying._

 _"_ _Princess!" Everyone gasped as Princess Kenny turned around, grinning maniacally and holding the stick of truth high above her head._

 _"_ _The Princess has the Stick of Truth!" Whispers rippled through the crowd as onlookers gathered in the treehouse._

 _"_ _Princess Kenny," Cartaman began, "you know kidnapping the Stick of Truth could land you charges of high treason?" Butters realized with dread that they both knew she knew._

 _The princess nodded solemnly._

 _"_ _I'm not playing anymore. At least not with you." Cartman frowned at what was definitely meant as a personal attack._

 _"_ _Craig, steal the stick." Cartman ordered._

 _Just then, Princess Kenny snapped the stick over her knee and tossed its broken pieces to the side thoughtlessly._

 _Everyone gasped._

 _Kenny…" Kyle stepped forward, voice breaking from shock. Kenny stood tall to accept what was coming. "According to the rules as stated in the_ 'Declaration of Alliances', _Section one, Article two: 'destroying, hiding, or withholding the stick from authorized members is punishable by trial, and could be found punishable by death.'" Kenny nodded gravely in agreement. Kyle stared in devastated confusion. "You are now under… you are now under arrest by order of the High Jew Elf Court, and will face a jury tomorrow. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will—"_

 _"_ _I don't think so Kyle." Princess Kenny reached behind her back and drew her bow. Unaimed, but pulled taught and ready to fire, her steady eyes determined._

 _Everyone froze. Kyle took a step back carefully._

 _"_ _Kenny you don't want to do this…" Kenny's eyes flickered back to Butters, only for a moment._

 _"_ _I have to, Kyle." Kenny whispered sadly._

 _"_ _Come on,_ Princess Kinny, _you're acting crazy." Cartman condescended with artificial concern._

 _"_ _I'm not crazy!" Kenny screeched, marching forward, arrow pointed threateningly at the wizard's throat._

 _Several humans drew their swords in preparation to defend their leader._

 _"_ _Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy,_ Princess, _I get it, this_ so _proves your not crazy." Eric drawled lazily as he held up his hands defensively._

 _Princess Kenny's sneer only deepened as her bow string tightened._

 _"_ _Princess," Kyle stepped forward carefully, arrow now pointing at him. "Just walk away peacefully and we'll hold a fair trial for you tomorrow. Just walk away now, and nobody gets hurt." She refused to lower her weapon. "Please!" The Elf King begged of the diplomatic princess._

 _Princess Kenny's eyes teared up as she looked between her oldest friends. She flexed her fingers as she grit her teeth._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, Kyle, but it's too late." The princess turned her arrow back towards the wizard king. "The game's already been compromised." The two narrowed their eyes at each other as Kyle's went wide with horror._

 _"_ _Don't be stupid, princess." Cartman mocked._

 _"_ _We don't want to kill you!" High Jew Elf King, Kyle, tried to reason with her._

 _Princess Kenny smirked dangerously._

 _"_ _Then you will die."_

 _Stan tackled the princess just in time, as her arrow launched and stuck itself into the ceiling directly above the elf king's head._

 _Pandemonium ensued. It was a full-on melée, as human fought elf, ranger fought paladin, and princess fought kings._

 _Screams could be heard throughout the land, as fallen brothers howled their last, dying breaths._

 _Butters was taking a substantial amount of hits from Stan Marsh when the fighting ceased to a screeching halt between them._

"Stan!" _Stan's head whipped around to face the call of his king. If Butters had been a more unfair player, he would have taken that moment to strike his enemy down. Instead, he also turned to look._

 _He saw Kyle on the ground, wounded by Kenny's arrow, and Kenny gearing up to fire the final kill shot. Cartman was pointing his magical staff directly against Kenny's back._

 _The wizard king let out a war cry as he slammed it angrily against the wooden floor, rattling the walls and shaking the ground they fought on._

 _"_ _Enough!" Eric roared, voice booming above the riot as he sliced his staff through the air, making a magical_ 'shew!' _whooshing noise as it did so. Violence ceased, and everyone dutifully turned to face the Wizard King. His voice rang through the treehouse and stilled the battle. The only sound was the clatter of a bow and arrow as it slipped from the princess' grasp._

 _Suddenly, the princess couldn't move. Her arms were bound by invisible magic, and Cartman was smirking as his staff glowed with power._

 _"_ _Turn around!" He sneered, staff emitting a steady, humming_ 'pew!' _noise as he forced the princess to move. "Turn and face those you have betrayed!" He commanded. Princess Kenny struggled unsuccessfully against the powerful magic forcing her to obey._

 _"_ _Now," the Grand Wizard's lips curled in contempt for the disgraced princess, "Fall before your King!" Cartman screamed, pointing his buzzing staff at the weakened mortal before him._

 _Princess Kenny fell to her knees in front of the Grand Wizard, wincing only for a second, her head held high as if to spite her imminent defeat._

 _"_ _Any last words, traitor?" The wizard yelled at the princess' back, like a coward. The crowd watched in shock, mouths agape as they waited for a response. Butters begged silently, desperate for a defense. Would there be no mercy for the gentle princess?!_

 _Princess Kenny tipped her chin up in defiance, flaunting bravery until the very end._

 _The Grand Wizard King pulled a sword from the sheath of a nearby warrior. The audience gasped, terrified as they witnessed The King's greatest performance._

 _"_ _Say goodbye to your princess." Cartman growled savagely to the onlooking crowd._

 _Butters watched in horror as The Grand Wizard King brought the sword down, and stabbed the princess through the chest (or under the arm, same thing). Tweek whimpered as the sword went in, Craig cradled Tweek protectively as the sword ripped out, and Butters fell to his knees as Princess Kenny collapsed against the floor, curling into a wounded heap._

 _He fought the urge to scream as Stan and Clyde stood up to carry the body outside._

 _Kyle's voice was uncharacteristically solemn as he announced that a service will be held tomorrow afternoon for the fallen princess._

 _Cartman nonchalantly passed the sword to Scott Malkinson, who unceremoniously wiped it clean of Kenny's pretend blood._

 _The players wandered outside in a zombie-like state, just catching sight of the princess being dragged into a Human-base-camp tent._

 _Her crown was missing. Instead of lying where it usually did, nestled in honey golden hair, it lay on the ground beneath her dragging feet, obscured by tall blades of grass. Knocked off her head as if it no longer belonged there. Tossed to the ground like it meant_ nothing.

 _Butters broke free from the herd and ran to it. He cradled it gently in his arms as he opened the tent flap. Kenny was lying on the ground, not moving and not acknowledging the paladin's entrance._

 _Stan and Clyde stood up straighter as Butters sensed two more bodies enter the room._

 _Kyle and Eric passed by the frozen paladin on either side and walked straight for Princess Kenny._

 _"_ _Why did you do it, princess?" The Elven King asked sadly._

 _She didn't answer._

 _Stan grabbed his king by the shoulder and guided him out of the tent somberly._

 _Clyde nodded to Cartman as he passed and exited._

 _Now it was just Paladin Butters, The Grand Wizard King, and the dead Princess Kenny._

 _Butters felt frozen to the spot as he watched Cartman walk past her, kicking her in the head as her did so._

 _The princess swore quietly as she glared up at him, but one look at his angry stare and Kenny went back to playing dead._

 _Butters scurried over to kneel before the princess. He whispered to her quietly, narrating as he placed the crown back on his princess' head._

 _He could have sworn he saw her smiling._

 _Quickly, his vision was obscured by the heartless murderer who dared call himself 'King'. His cape swung into Butters' face as he stepped between the paladin and the princess. Butters stood up angrily to glare at the fat oaf._

 _"_ _Tragic, isn't it?" Cartman clicked his tongue as he stared down at Princess Kenny. Butters followed his gaze, but said nothing._

 _"_ _Oh! If only she had stayed to one side!" He continued, gesturing dramatically to the sky with his staff as he pretended to grieve to the gods. Butters glared up at him, rage bubbling up from his stomach with every bad performance Cartman delivered._

 _"_ _Too bad." The wizard mused as he walked over to grab a heavy woolen blanket from a nearby bench. "It_ really _is_ too bad." _He repeated as he shook out the dusty, old thing. Butters stepped closer to the princess protectively. Cartman sneered evilly as he strolled back over to the two of them._

 _"_ _Poor thing." The fat ogre sighed unconvincingly. Helpless, unable to defy the king, Butters watched on sadly as he realized what it was that Cartman was doing. Grand Wizard King scoffed as bent down deeply in a sarcastic bow, towering over the princess' tiny form._

 _"_ _Shouldn't have crossed me,_ Princess." _He growled and tossed the heavy blanket down over her lifeless body._

. ❀✿❁ .

 _The following afternoon was the service. Kyle made a very nice announcement before the start of the ceremony, and scattered flower petals along the princess' path from her casket to her final resting place: a viking's funeral across Stark's Pond._

 _Stan politely asked everyone to please line up single file behind the princess._

 _Timmy nodded solemnly, as he scooted down the line, handing each child a flower from his basket and consoling each with a compassionate "Timmy" as he went._

 _Jimmy, the Bard, was singing and playing a delicate song in the distance, detailing the brave and cunning tales of the princess and her adventures._

 _"_ _Kyle Broflovthski, High Jew Elfth King, Elfth." Scott Malkinson announced grandly, calling each mourner by name as they stepped up to say goodbye to the princess._

 _"_ _Thtan Marthwalker, Ranger, Elfth."_

 _Butters looked down at his flower. He was sure his expression looked blank, but inside he was crying. It was all his fault, and he felt fully responsible. Because he couldn't stay away from her, the princess had to die._

 _The princess had been killed because of him._

 _As the procession marched on, Butters tried to focus on anything but its destination. Suddenly, only Token stood between the pale princess and the paladin. Then they were face to face._

 _It was Butters' turn to pay his respects._

 _Still not having seen her yet, Butters pried his eyes from the distant tree line and finally gazed down at his princess._

 _Kenny was lying atop a wooden board, placed over a flat stone adorning a plaque commemorating the gracious donors who made keeping Stark's Pond a public park possible. Today, the plaque was covered with a piece of computer paper, shaded in with pencil to match the plaque underneath, that read "Here Lies, Our Princess. May She Rest In Peace. May Her Death Bring An End To This War" in beautiful calligraphy, painstakingly drawn by Tweek._

 _The princess was surrounded by flowers, some preemptively placed around her in preparation for the service, some placed there by the grieving players. Even though it was pretend, everybody seemed to be taking this very seriously. Butters had a feeling everybody knew that the princess' death marked the end of the game._

 _Butters' eyes locked on Kenny's face._

 _Her beautiful blue eyes were now closed forever. Her dark eyelashes rested peacefully against her freckled cheekbones. Kenny's face was powdered to appear paler than it was, to give the illusion of death. It was unsettling, pretend or not._

 _The paladin's eyes scanned down the princess' face, past her delicate nose and her powdered cheeks. Past her slightly parted lips, rosy and unsmiling. To her hands, shrouded in thin white gloves and folded delicately across her chest — rising and falling slightly with each shallow breath._

 _Butters looked down in his own hand, at the flower resting there in his palm. So delicate. So beautiful. Like his princess._

 _He carefully pinched the stem with his other gloved hand._

 _"_ _Move it along, Butters." The wizard king muttered over his shoulder. Butters turned around to see a disgruntled Cartman folding his harms and tapping his foot impatiently. He knew he was holding everybody up but he just couldn't say goodbye. Butters looked ahead of him and saw the line in front of him. Various humans and elves, some watching, some bored and looking at their phones, and one very pained-looking elvish king watching Butters sympathetically. Boy, Kyle must be so sad that his old buddy Kenny won't be able to play with them anymore after the funeral. Stan must have noticed his concern, and placed a strong hand against Kyle's squared shoulder._

 _Butters reached down to place his flower around the altar— but, oh hamburgers, then it would be lost with all the others! He decided to place it safely beneath her folded hands instead._

 _The princess' eyebrows twitched as the paladin's fingers brushed softly against hers, though the rest of her face remained unmoved. She was cold. Even in death, the noble paladin refused to allow harm to come to Princess Kenny. Butters bit the middle finger of his glove and pulled his hand out, flexing his fingers in the cold air._

 _He stretched the thick leather glove lengthwise over her cold hands._

 _Her long, braided locks brushed around her face in the breeze. Kenny opened one eye slightly — Princess locking eyes with paladin briefly — before shutting them again tightly._

 _Butters froze. He blinked as his heart thumped wildly in his chest._

 _He couldn't help it._

 _Overwhelmed, the paladin fell to his knees before the princess._

 _Her head twitched in his direction._

 _"_ _Don't move,_ Kenny, _you're dead!" Cartman hissed behind him._

 _Butters traced his ungloved hand across her face and felt it blush underneath his skin._

 _"_ _Butters…" The princess muttered, trying to move as little as possible._

 _Butters bowed his head and placed a gentle kiss against her forehead._

 _"_ _Goodbye, princess."_

. ❀✿❁ .

 _Butters turned and walked determinedly towards the rest of the grieving onlookers. He kept his shoulders squared and he kept his stoney face forward, even through the fading protests of "Stop lookin',_ Kinny, _you're supposed to be dead!" drifted over from behind him._

 _Paladin Butters watched silently as the rest of the mourners placed flowers around the princess' wooden tomb._

 _Once the procession had finished, humans and elves alike joined hands to circle around the edge of the water. Jimmy played a sad song on his recorder while Stan, Kyle, Craig, and Eric carried Kenny off of the stone altar, and set him off to sea to float across Stark's Pond on the wooden board, shrouded in flowers. The High Elf King gingerly picked up Princess Kenny's bow and arrow, and shot one arrow — engraved and covered in colorful paper — into the sky above her sailing boat. Everyone watched respectfully until the board stopped moving. Once Jimmy finished his song, the players began to slowly file out and go home._

 _Butters sat cross legged at the edge of the pond._

 _"_ _Y-you ok there, P-p-paladin B-butters?" Jimmy asked sweetly as he finished packing up his mandolin._

 _Butters nodded solemnly. Something about this didn't feel right. He didn't understand why Cartman would demand Butters' demise — and subsequently the end of the game — just because of Princess Kenny. He wouldn't find out until later how sometimes people could be close minded, and how sometimes they were dangerously so._

 _Butters leaned against the tree to his back and looked out across the pond._

 _Butters sat stilly as people shuffled all around him, until there was no one left but the paladin, the setting sun, and the still floating princess. She was clutching tightly to Butters' glove, but she was otherwise unmoved._

 _As it finally started getting dark, the paladin was woken up from his dozing state by splashing noises across the pond._

 _Princess Kenny was kneeling against the board, and paddling her way to the opposite shore._

 _Butters watched silently as she stepped gracefully off of her altar, and glided silently through the trees, like a ghost risen from the dead._

 _With Kenny finally gone, Butters decided he had no reason left to sit there anymore. He stood up and dusted himself off. Butters would take his time walking home. He would probably be grounded anyway for being out so late, so it didn't matter._

 _Butters took a walk around the steady pond to retrieve his glove on the other side. He watched the moon slide across the water until its reflection was too far behind him to see anymore. Anything to avoid staring at the empty bed of flowers ahead of him._

 _Butters bent down to scoop up his glove, when he noticed it was missing. Kenny must've taken it._ 'I'll get it from him tomorrow', _he thought to himself as he headed home with a sigh._

 _Somewhere along the way, Butters heard pounding footsteps rounding the corner and jogging up behind him._

 _He turned to see Kenny: bundled up in old jeans, a black hoodie, and his signature orange parka,_ most _of the makeup removed successfully from his face. His hair was wild, a little bit of lipstick still smeared down the corner of his mouth._

 _He was beautiful._

 _"_ _Butters!" He panted as he got close. "Wait up!"_

 _Butters waited. He watched silently as Kenny doubled over to catch his breath._

 _"_ _The game's really over for you, huh?" Is all Butters said when they finally stood face to face again._

 _Kenny gazed at him, eyes shining brightly above his toothy grin. It made Butters' chest hurt, though he wasn't sure why._

 _"_ _Yeah, but it's what had to be done." The scrappy boy explained. "I got no problems sacrificing myself for the greater good." Kenny shrugged._

 _"_ _You were a noble princess, Princess Kenny." Butters smiled shyly._

 _Kenny smiled back. "Thanks." His smile faltered. "I'm gonna miss her."_

 _"_ _Me too." Butters admitted._

 _The two stared at each other awkwardly. Kenny shifted his weight nervously as he fussed over whatever he didn't dare say. Butters rubbed his knuckles together in anticipation, finding himself at a loss for words as well._

 _"_ _Well, I should go." He finally squeaked. "I'm probably grounded already as it is, and I-I don't want to make it worse."_

 _Kenny nodded as Butters turned to leave._

 _"_ _Oh wait!" Kenny grabbed Butters' ungloved hand. It sent chills up Butters' arm as he watched Kenny unzip his pocket and dig through it to find something nestled safely inside._

 _He smirked a lipsticked smeared smile as he fell to one knee and bowed his head in praise._

 _"_ _Paladin." He regarded as he presented Butters' missing glove with both of his rosebush-scraped hands._

. ❀✿❁ .


End file.
